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alright guys, took me an hour of power washing, and alot of money but its 95% clean now.

Luckily, there are absolutely no dings or scratches or anything (thank god). I went over the whole car to double check, luckily it had absolutely no damage.

PS: 95% sure they're tow hooks for when you get stuck. not for towing behind another car.
PSS: i offered couple of friends $50 to clean it, no one wanted to :(
PSSS: picture wasn't as good as that priceless picture of the koup.
PSSSS: I'm gonna miss people looking at my car and laughing hysterically, not to mention the awesome jokes.
PSSSSS: I would clean it for $10 and letting me drive it to the bar.
 
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